Recognise any of these Christmas concert gems?
The parts have been assigned, the songs have been practised and the costumes have been brought in. Christmas concert, nativity, pantomime… whatever your school calls it, the chances are you’ve been tasked with undertaking this annual festive feat.
Twelve Frantic Gestures
When it comes to frantic gestures that ensure the children are doing what they’re supposed to be doing on stage, the Village People have nothing on teachers! If you don’t use the slow rise of the arms (stand up!), the pull at either side of your mouth (smile!) and the cupping of the ear (louder!), then are you even a teacher?!
Eleven Waves to Grown-Ups
As their eyes search the audience, the feeling of relief and delight must be oh-so-overwhelming when they spot a familiar face in the crowd. While you may not want them to break character, an excited wave or two is inevitable. The Royal Shakespeare Academy will just have to wait!
Ten Cameras Flashing
Their little one’s big moment has arrived, and suddenly it feels like the Oscars! Who needs to invest in fancy strobe lighting when a proud parent is wielding their smart phone?
Nine Forgotten Props
Each prop was carefully packed away after the dress rehearsal, and then laid out again the next day ready for the performance. So, why is the wise man handing Joseph thin air instead of myrrh? Sigh.
Eight Forgotten Lines
More terrifying than the forgotten prop, is the forgotten line. This is the moment you assume that all children can lip read.
Seven Unheard Lines
Whilst a line may have been remembered, it isn’t always exactly audible. After weeks of practising using a ‘big voice’, the sight of all those parents’ eyes was just a bit too daunting. However, you can guarantee that their grown-ups (quite rightly) have never been prouder.
Six Unplanned Moments
You’ve rehearsed and rehearsed for weeks. Every eventuality has been considered…or so you thought! Whether it’s a wig falling off or part of the set falling down, it’ll be the unplanned moments that make the performance more memorable. And make you want to pull your hair out. Best just to go along for the ride.
Five Stomps on Stage
You’ve told the children countless times to step lightly onto the stage. Their solemn nods tell you they will do just that. It soon becomes apparent that a stampede of tap-dancing elephants could do a better job.
Four Shouty Singers
Nothing is more likely to get the audience tittering than the ‘shouty singer’. You’ve been reminding the children repeatedly to sing ‘loudly, but no shouting’. However some children cannot resist filling the hall with their not-so-dulcet tones. And we love them for it.
Three Misplaced Costumes
As each child proudly ambled towards you with their costume in hand a fortnight ago, you lovingly labelled it with their name and carefully hung it up ready for the big day. Then some of them inexplicably vanish to the place where odd socks go after they’ve taken a whirl in the washing machine. No one has ever been able to explain this phenomenon.
Two Missed Music Cues
It’s time for the big number. The children draw their breaths. The teacher signals the cue. Then tumble weed rolls across the stage as the music fails to play!
One Proud Teacher
Yes, it was stressful. Yes, it was hectic. And yes, it was worth it!
Worth it to see the looks on the children’s faces and to hear the applause ringing around the room. They did it. And you’ve never been prouder.